Feminism ¡V Bluebeard's Egg
Throughout this short story, women self-awareness could be sensed yet together with somewhat uncertainty and doubt. Personally I think this short story can serve as a very convincing evidence for the conflict and contradictory of modern female¡¦s struggling in trying to balance between themselves and the other sex.
There are three elements that impress me the most within this work: Sally¡¦s considering Ed¡¦s being stupid, the heart and the Egg symbol. Sally seems to be confident but also lack of confidence in some way. She considers Ed being ¡§stupid¡¨. There are several paragraphs focusing on describing his stupidity, which seems to me that the author tries very hard to persuade the readers of Ed¡¦s not only being stupid, but also lack of the awareness of many things around him. Yet Sally is contented with this. She even thinks ¡§it helps that he¡¦s handsome¡¨ and she is in love with him ¡§because of his stupidity.¡¨ However, she¡¦s is not completely lost in her blind love. She is aware that ¡§his obtuseness is a wall, within which he can go about hi s business, humming to himself, while Sally, locked outside, must hack her way through the brambles with hardly so much as a transparent raincoat between them and her skin.¡¨ Moreover, after seeing Ed and Marylyn¡¦s physical intimacy; though she starts to doubt whether it is her or Ed that is the stupid one; she can¡¦t imagine, face or dig out the truth because she¡¦s so afraid that she might lose what she only has¡XEd seems to be all what she has; she relies on him so much. Even the only reason she goes to night school is that she wants Ed think of her as interesting and always learning something new, instead of enlarging her own knowledge.
Except how Sally considers Ed¡¦s being ¡§stupid¡¨ and how later on it affects her self-awareness; the description about the two of them sneak into the hospital and operate the machine also implies and offers some clue to Sally¡¦s later on mental development. Her heart on the screen was ¡§a large grey object¡K like an uncertain moth¡¦s¡K so insubstantial, like a bag of gelatin, something that would melt, fade, disintegrate, if you squeeze it even a little.¡¨ And Ed, measuring her heart, seems so distant and controls over her heart; making her feel so small and powerless in front of him. Even the room itself gives a ¡§dangerous¡¨ feeling to Sally. It is ¡§sexual¡K like a massage parlor, only for women¡K¡¨ All these clues show that at this moment, before Sally sees and doubts about Ed and Marylyn; she thinks, lives, functions only for Ed, her husband and all -- her narrow mind can¡¦t afford things else than.
However, after she starts to be aware of something she ¡§can¡¦t afford to be wrong, or to be right, either.¡¨ She begins to experience a kind of growth and development which leads her to somewhat suffering for she used to be so sure about Ed, yet now she is so wondering. From the egg symbol I think of some personal opinions that it might as well serve as Sally¡¦s marriage, or her self-awareness. At first I was with Sally that the egg represents virginity or loyalty¡V that¡¦s what keeps the relationship going. But then I turn to other points: it could be their marriage; it has to be well protected, and in it not everything is completely frank. Maybe keeping somewhat distance or secret between couple makes them go better in their marriage. Or, it could be Sally¡¦s own self-awareness. If she doesn¡¦t go and explore, she would always stay in a perfect fantasyland she builds up for herself, and yet the egg would never hatch. On the contrary, if she could just be so courageous and determined to explore what she suspects, what comes up after the egg hatches then would be her succeed over herself.
At the end of Sally¡¦s story she sees her heart ¡§in black and white¡K torn out of her and floating in space¡K she has no control over it¡K¡¨ and then it turns into the egg, ¡§glowing softly and as though there¡¦s something red and hot inside it.¡¨ Though there is no exact way out, at least Sally starts to be aware of her inner part that used to be ignored, and at least she starts growing to be aware of herself as a whole and new person; moreover she steps out towards the real world instead of feeling so contented under the dreamland which she builds for herself.