Journal on The Yellow Wallpaper
John, the head of family, had great authority and he didn't allow his wife to be
against him. He wanted his wife to follow his decisions. If she didn't do what he said,
he would not be satisfied. Besides, he protected his wife too much, and he arranged
everything for her. For instance, the narrator had a schedule prescription for each hour, and John started the habit by making his wife lie down for an hour after each meal.
John also didn't want to accept his wife's words, and he didn't realize what his wife
really needed. The narrator didn't like the room, and she wanted to have other decoration or design, but John wouldn't hear of it. When she suffered from postpartum depression, she needed his husband's help; however, John's treatment
could only cure her physical illness instead of her mental illness.
The narrator's family didn't like her to write. She had to write in private. However, she said that if she could write a little bit, it would relieve the press of ideas
and rest herself. She thought she could get relieved while writing. Because her husband loved her so much, he wanted her to have perfect rest instead of doing anything. John hired a good servant and his sister was an enthusiastic housekeeper. In
this way, if the narrator just rest instead of doing something, it made her feel that she was not important at all, and that she was like a burden. She couldn't help her husband.
When the narrator was in public, she had to do what her family liked. She followed her husband's decisions, and couldn't write. Because no one realized what
she really wanted, what she could do was disguise herself, and do what her family
liked in public.
The narrator's attitude toward the yellow wallpaper was changing. At the beginning, she was very afraid of it. She found it was someone there watched her. Maybe it was the same feelings when her family watched her. Later, she found there
was a woman there. I think the woman was just a reflection of the narrator. The narrator said that the woman was subdued by daylight. It was the same with the narrator. When she was in public, she couldn't be herself, and had to do what her family liked. She would follow her husband's direction to lie down after each meal.
She was subdued in public. However, the woman wanted to get out off the wallpaper
at night, and she longed for freedom. At last, the woman had strong desire for freedom, and she didn't want to be trapped in the wallpaper at all. Being in the wallpaper was like restriction. The narrator also couldn't hold back her true feelings, and she longed for freedom as well. Therefore, she wanted to help the woman out.
In the narrator's times, it seemed that women only lived for their husbands and
children instead of themselves. They couldn't really be themselves. At the end of the story, the narrator said that she had got out at last, and she had pulled off most the paper, so her husband couldn't put her back. In my opinion, it means that she thought
she had escaped the control from her husband, and she didn't have to disguise herself
at all. She could write and be herself in public.