On-Focus Questions

Love of All Kinds

In our discussion, "lover" does not have to be your boy(girl) friend. It can be something(body) you commit yourself to loving.
Some of the topics below can be personal. However, it's a skill to learn in how to skirt around the questions too sensitive or personal to you. Also, we can practice different ways of tackling the same topics when we are in face with different persons.

Group discussion: (The questions can be paired so that you can choose what you like to talk about.)

A. Love--Nature and Experience (Falling in and out of love)

Do you believe that there are keys to preparing for a successful love relationship? The author of "Journeys of the Heart" talks about 1) knowing oneself, 2) keeping an open mind and open ears, 3) taking the risk to get close while watching for clues and warning signs. What are your keys? Do you think that it's possible to prepare ourselves before we enter a significant relationship?
Tell your group a love story (not necessarily between a man and a woman) that impresses you.
Love of Different Kinds:
-- Do you believe in love at first sight? Or never-changing love? Are you a victim of stupid love (what makes one do stupid things for or against one's lover)? (In the words of "Stupid Love"--a review of the film Addicted to Love--"stupid love" is also the love that makes people act like drooling idiots when they get dumped. They'll follow their exes around, try to sabotage their jobs, their new loves, and their new lives. These obsessed fools will do anything to get their lost love to come back into their lives. And, if not that, make them suffer in wicked, horrid ways.")
-- What are the differences between the love between friends and that between lovers? Or love and infatuation, mature love and puppy love?
-- Of other kinds -- cyber love, old shoe love, unrequitted love, etc.

B. Finding an Ideal Spouse or Lover; past and present

What do you think about the various dating programs and dating services available in society?
Did you parents marry out of free love? Or did they have arranged marriage? How did they view love differently from you?
Nowadays, people tend to marry at a later age than before. What do you think the reasons can be?
What do you think about DINK (the couples with double income and no kids)?
What do you think about cohabitation?

C. Emotions

Hatred and Passion: Have you ever hated anyone? Why? Have you ever felt passionate about anything? Can you describe how you felt? What other strong emotions do you remember having?
Loss: What are the best ways for you to heal yourself when you fall out of love--or lose whatever you love? How do you get over the hurt feelings?

Can you keep being a friend to your former lover?

One-on-One chatting:

Love and Self:

Some people say that we look for our mirror image, or our other half, in searching for our ideal lover. Do you agree?
Some people say that we don't necessarily marry the one we love; we marry when we are in the right age and mood to do so. Some say that we should marry the one that loves us, but not the one we love. Do you agree?
Do you know your own emotional pattern and needs? Are you aware of your own emotional weak spots, or strengths? How do you describe your EQ?
Is homosexuality, or extra-marital affair, completely impossible for you? Why?

Love and External Conditions:

What are the external factors you consider in choosing your lover? Health, family background, looks, educational background?
Of the following types of persons, which is not likely to be your lover?

a foreigner, a handicapped person, one shorter than you, a divorced person with children, one with criminal record, one who is 10 years older than you.

Love and Dating Ritual

Do you think you/girls can be active in asking for a date? Do you like to be the one that pay when dating?
Do you have any experience of dating? What do people talk about when dating?
Why do you think sex is (un-)related to love?

Vocabulary to use: