| 1. All of a sudden, I heard my teacher who called me and said, "Hey, come here. It's time for school." The "trip" seemed to be in the end. As for me, I was unwilling to end up my "trip" so that I was disappointed to go to school with low spirits. |
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| 2. I didn't end
the "pleasant morning" until I transferred to other school.
"Happiness" was only the term to describe my feelings at that time.
. . . [Breakfast] was a precious that God bestowed it on me.
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| 3. My friends
and I would have quarrels only because of my cold-blood feeling with
those dirty and nasty pets. In fact, I am not that
cool as my behavior shone with pets. I
remember that I once poured my love to my dear Harry.
Harry had been my best friend and had complained me growing up for at least ten year. |
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| 4. I wonder that if my confession
of loving Kay made her feel that we were companions instead of opponents
so she was so hurry to get the answer that would Kay like two of us.
Since that time, I began to convince myself of never believing in premonition. Because it never reminded me of the fact that another terrible thing was coming to me. |
II. Avoid Wordiness, Redundancy, Repetitions:
| 1. I used to have a bad habit for not keeping the new toys a long time and then threw away those toys my father purchased for me anywhere. Because of this reason, my father scolded me many times and sometimes I might be beaten by my father for the same reason. |
III. Comparison
| 1. Everytime he sat besides
my bed, I saw his shadow clearly reflected on the wall, like a protective
giant which was about to vanish (good comparison).
(Good Trans --) I haven't been really close to the giant for a long time, probably because I have grown up. |
III. Syntax: Conjunctions and Relative Pronouns:
| (Comparison,
Transition and Syntax)
Sitting on her bed, I felt falling into it deeply. Compared with her, my bed was as hard as a rock. When thinking about the place I slept, I felt pity for myself. Suddenly, I saw a little babinet beside the closet. The was a set of little animal dolls in it. |
| Relative pronoun:
Choi Hyun-Shil who was a leading role of this story tried her best to see her parents again. |
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| In our childish mind, we believed that the one who could create a cool pose that no one could imitate must earn a large fortune in the future, so that he could buy a thousand kinds of snacks and the Holy Fighter puppet. And we believed that there must be a long long slope in heaven, so that we could slide for a long long time without stop, just like our interest in playing on the slide would never stop. |
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| Advertising is no more the only way to promote their business nor publicity, but only as assistant means to achieve the goal of promoting business. |
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IV. Introduction & Transition:
| 1. . . . Because
of the clothing of the boy, I recognized that it was in
early winter then. However, the shining smile on the boy's face just
wiped away the cold weather and showed the delightful atmosphere
there. Suddenly, I found myself going back to the third grade of
my elementary school.
(Trans --) Our classroom was on the first floor, and there was one elephant-shaped slide outside it. At that time, most boys and some girls in our class only concerned about one thing-to occupy the slide. |
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Logic and the use of transition:
| 1. Whenever
I saw the scar on my left foot, I would recollect the period of my childhood.
The scar left by an accident had
been deeply rooted in my mind. But everyone might generally thought that the accident should be unfortunate or to be forgotten. However, I cherished one when I was nine years old, the experience of receiving a stab wound in my left foot had a significant influence on my personality (Syntax). |
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