Johnny is the Best

1, 2, 3, 4

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TEACHER: Johny, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
L-JOHNY: You told me to do it without using tables!

-- pun

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TEACHER: Johny, how do you spell "crocodile"?
L-JOHNY: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
L-JOHNY: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!

-- ambiguity

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TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
L-JOHNY: Don't bite any.

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L-Johnny : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
L-Johnny : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

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TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
L-JOHNY: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
L-JOHNY: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

-- homonym
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TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, Johny, who discovered America?
L-JOHNY: George!

-- ambiguity by pun

 

2. Teacher-Student

TEACHER: Johny, name one important thing we have today that we didn't
have ten years ago.
L-JOHNY: Me!

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TEACHER: Johny, why do you always get so dirty?
L-JOHNY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.

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Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people
are no longer interested?
L-Johnny : A teacher

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Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped
him, what virtue would I be showing?
L-Johnny: Brotherly love.

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3. Father-Son

L-JOHNY: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me To write?
L-JOHNY: Your name on this report card.

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Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry
tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't
punish him?"
L-Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."

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Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
L-Johnny : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

4. Writing

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Teacher: Johny, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
your brother's. Did u copy his?
L-Johnny: No, teacher, it's the same dog!




Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
L-Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday
sametime."

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TEACHER: Johny, give me a sentence starting with "I".
L-JOHNY: I is...
TEACHER: No, Johny. Always say, "I am."
L-JOHNY: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

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ETC; CEWeb